I have just returned from an 8-day trip to Arizona. This trip was to be many things on many levels, and it definitely was. I saw everyone that was on my must-see list, and went to the one place on my must-do list, but also saw some other beautiful places. I also got to eat lots of very good Mexican food, which is definitely a priority when visiting Arizona!
But this trip was not just a vacation. It was meant for me to have some long talks with important people in my life. Ask questions, find answers, give answers, and fill in missing pieces. What I came home with was a sense of wholeness, and knowledge that there are people there who I love, and who love me very much, and that is worth more than anything in the world.
But then again, putting together all the emotions, thoughts, lessons and experiences of the trip . . . where do I start?
My first stop was to spend some time with my “Big Cuz”. We hadn’t seen each other for almost 5 years, but do email and talk often. We wanted to spend some time having good heart-to-heart talks. One of the things I really wanted to do was talk about our fathers. They were brothers, but 16 years apart. They were both very much like their father, but grew up in very different environments. I wanted to know how different, or how much the same they were. What strong family traits came down through the lines from our grandfather, to our fathers, through us, and to my children. I must admit that I am a bit more puzzled about myself, but much less about others in the family.
We started out by going to see some of the things that interest me. Capturing the old, the history of the area. As I did when I went to the SunWatch mounds here, there they have Tuzigoot and Montezuma Castle. Both had a very different feel to them, and both had much history to tell. Later we were in a place where many people go for spiritual guidance and enlightenment. I remember going to Sedona many years ago and feeling that energy. I was looking forward to going there again. But this visit didn’t give me what I had expected. It was far from that small town I visited back then; very busy with lots of people, traffic, houses etc. commercialized, taken over by tourism. Oh there is still the beauty of the desert, and the wonderful Chapel of the Holy Cross. The colors of the sun cutting across the rocks cannot really be captured by the camera lens, but I sure did try and got some wonderful shots. It was a beautiful day, and gave me a different perspective to think about.
Change, so much change. When I later went down to Tucson where I lived as a teenager, I saw even more change. So many people; where did they all come from? More to the point, why? So much traffic, so much building, expanding out . . .
Now I sit here, so many things going through my head. The choices I made that brought me here instead of there. Looking out the window to see the first snowflakes of winter that wouldn’t be conceived of in the heat of the desert. My feet are cold, but yet there it would be a day too hot. I’m not complaining, just making an observation. Both places have pros and cons, and I miss the people, oh so very much. But I am happiest bundled up in my sweater, putting on a second pair of socks, and looking out the window at the last of the turning leaves as the wisps of snow blow around in the crisp air. Hubby is working away in the basement, the wild child has just texted me for directions, and I’m looking forward to actually getting to spend some time with the youngest now that Color Guard is over. Life is good, life is full, and the more I live it the more I learn to appreciate every minute given to me.